He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
