I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
