I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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