you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
