i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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