Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
