Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
