its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
