How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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