I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your penis caused this!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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