her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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