yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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