she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
