I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
