I feel great
I just peed on a car
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
