So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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