That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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