My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
