You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
