I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
