At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
