They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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