she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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