I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I can text with my tongue
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
