i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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