Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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