that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
