you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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