so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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