I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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