Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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