you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
