And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
