Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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