In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
