fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I could fuck to npr.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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