hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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