My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
