you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was born a porn star she said
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
