you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
