I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
