dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Pants are for mortals
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
