Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
