She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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