So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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