I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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