I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
