just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
