I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
