Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish you could order shots online.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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