So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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